


The Tragedy of Loving You

by what-is-a-fanfic-author (naxxerie)



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Amnesia, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, Hurt Nicolo di Genova, Jealousy, M/M, Memory Loss, Miscommunication, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Whump, Pining, Protective Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Separation Anxiety, Separations, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, Yearning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26319238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naxxerie/pseuds/what-is-a-fanfic-author
Summary: After a mishap in one of their mission, Nicolo was presumed dead by his teammates, lost in the abyss just like Quntyh.Meanwhile, Nicolo wakes up with a different name and a different life, mourning for an emptiness in his heart that he cannot seem to fill.What would happen once two lost souls find each other again?
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 15
Kudos: 70





	1. The Lost One's Weeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic is inspired by the countless other fics I've read in this fandom, so you will definitely see the familiarity. I really, really, just want a jealous and pining and angst from these two but since they're basically soulmates I have to DO something to make a gap. (If I have to play God to make them hurt, damn well I would!)
> 
> To be honest, I didn't think much of the mission thing and the fighting scene thing. This fic's focus would really be more into the jealous and whump uwu
> 
> Thank you again for sticking with this despite the lame writing. I really just want to write something for this fandom uwu

**Chapter 1** : The Lost One's Weeping

It wasnt the first time that Joe has seen Nicolo died. He thought it wouldn't be the last one either. Though the devoted man in him wished that he could protect his lover from all the dangers that men has to offer.

But he couldn't. He was merely a mortal man who could evade death. Not an all-powerful god.

It was supposed to be a simple covert mission. Get the target, get out. The target was a political prisoner that was captured in a basement far from civilization. The party of which the target belonged to was desperate enough to call for anyone's help. Copley answered them.

And they in turn, went out to help.

Nicky, as always the lovable and caring man, was the first to voice out his hesitation. Not with the mission's (because he out of all of them, were the first and only one insistent that they are doing something good, even long after Andy had given up), but of Andy's new found mortality. "Are you sure boss?" The same question that he had uttered when they were having their escape on Merrick's lab, slithered away from his lips.

Andy looked at him as if she was contemplating whether to bash his head or burn his hands.

Joe hid the smirk behind his drawing pad.

Andy glared before snuggling back in the sofa that she was on. She tilted her head back and let out a cruel smile, "Ask again," she said, sharpening her nails with her (weapon).

Nicky sighed. He rolled his eyes before making his way to the kitchen, uttering not so favorable italian words about a woman too stubborn for her own good.

Joe laughed, he knew well by now what his beloved Nicolo would do.

"Oh great! More muffins!" Nile said, amused. They all knew that Nicolo was a stress baker and no doubt he went to the kitchen to baked away his frustrations.

"You know he just worries about you, boss," Joe knew that he didn't has to say it, that Andy well knew what Nicolo meant by the question, but he can't help but voice it out. For protecting Nicolo's reputation? He has no idea.

Andy sighed, she closed her eyes and placed her weapon at her side. "I know," her eyes were sullen. She had long accepted the fact that her mortality had made her valuable, that her time was coming close. "But I'm not sitting around," she glared at an empty space. "Not _ever,"_ she spat the word like a curse. She may be a mortal but the warrior within her still burn with ferocity.

Joe and Nile exchanged a soft smile. Even death wouldn't turn this woman into a domestic cat.

Ten minutes later, they could vividly smell the aroma of blueberries in the oven.

Nile silently gushed about it.

Nicolo, otherwise known as Nicky, was perched atop the tower-like structure from a grounded shipment vessel/boat. It was the perfect vantage point, he could see the place clear and provide accurate backup for his teammates down below.

Copley just informed them that the target was to be locked up in a containment like some exotic animal and be shipped off to a different location, possibly to torture the victim more and create an excuse. They decided to take that small opportunity to rescue the poor man and finally free him.

He saw as his team - Nile at the front, Joe at the rear, Andy sandwiched between the two - made their way to the dock. There were several guards in the vicinity and Nicolo rattled off their location to his team's ears.

"Accurate as always, love," Joe, the ever loving sap whispered back.

"Thank you, love," Nicolo wasn't shy to respond.

They heard Nile groaned at the earpiece. "Can you save this for later?" Though there wasn't really any venom in it, just good old teasing.

"Can't help it, my love was like an archangel guiding us from the sky," Joe waved at the lens in Nicolo.

Nicolo rolled his eyes. "Yes, to protect you, my love."

"And us," Nile chimed in.

"Children. Focus," Andy whispered, exhausted with the bickering.

"Sure thing boss," Joe said, throwing one last wink at his love.

Nicolo took a good three seconds of flustering, as if he hadn't flirted with his lover for so many times, before firing the first shot.

One of the guard went down like a puppet with its strings cut. The kill was precise and quiet.

Nicolo reloaded his gun before firing at another one. Then another. Then another, clearing up a way for his team.

They didn't even wait for another second before proceeding inside. It took a minute before Nicolo could hear the gunshots echoing in his earpiece. He made the move to clear out the other remaining guards.

"Find him," he heard Andy said.

There were more shuffling and firing, before Nile spoke up, "He's here!"

"Nick, we're going out!" Andy commanded.

"Roger that," Nicolo said before rechecking the pathway. "Proceed as plan."

Joe whimpered, as if swallowing another gushing.

A, what a ridiculous man. But Nicolo couldn't help but to smile. He loved this man with all his heart. Just as he had said, _he was all and he was more_.

Suddenly, Nicolo saw a slight movement from the right. He aimed at his sniper and found that there's two more cars, probably back up, approaching the place. Joe and the others have at least a few more minutes before they could get back to the get away car. "Shit!" Nicolo rarely curse but this situation calls for it. He quickly aimed the gun, aiming to blow up the car at least but found that he was seconds too late as they had already unloaded and was making their way.

The team was only seconds from the get away car. If Nicolo wouldn't do anything, the backup would surely catch up to them.

So he started firing.

"Nicky!" Andy yelled, she knew that Nicolo was all but giving up his position. Consecutive firing shouldn't be done with a sniper rifle.

"Just get it the car boss!" Nicolo said, not stopping from killing the enemies.

The backup immediately took cover and Nicolo has to move quickly. They are firing at his general direction now. He has to move.

Fortunately, he could see the getaway car growing some distance, with the enemy seemingly more intent on killing him off. He has to leave right now.

Nicolo fired a few more rounds, quickly coming out with an exit strategy.

However, before he had a time to enact his plan, he saw the enemy aimed a grenade launcher at him...and fired.


	2. Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and the team tries to deal with Nicky's disappearance.

_I left him to die._

Joe has never found misery at the end of a bottle. Having lived his life with an Italian man who enjoys only the finest of wine (and food and bread and cheese and—), he had never understood how Booker could find drinking alcohol a necessity.

But now, that is all it is to him. A solace for his misery. For his own made tragedy.

_I should’ve been with him._

He didn’t even know when he started drinking, when he had stopped waking up with a purpose. It has been a year since he had last seen his beloved.

When they reached their safe house, Joe was still buzzing with adrenaline. He had heard Nile kept on repeating and fixing the receiver, but he had never heard Nicky’s voice.

Andy immediately held on to his arm, “Do not worry,” she told him with a soft whisper.

But Joe couldn’t help himself. He still worried.

As soon as the van stopped, Joe helped their target to the safe house and immediately ran to the computer to contact Copley. “Where’s he? Do you see him? Why is he not here?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking, his mind was already running with scenarios – often horrifying ones – he couldn’t lose him again. Not now. Not ever.

There was silence on the other end, before Copley delivered Joe’s worst nightmare—“I’m sorry. He—there was a grenade, and it hit him—and I couldn’t—I tried, Joe. I really did but I couldn’t see him—”

“ **STOP LYING**!” Joe didn’t even recognize his voice. It was harsh and threatening. Copley had lied to them before, he had tried to separate him and Nicky before—surely, he was lying again. He was lying to separate them again. Copley knew where Nicky is, he was just being decisive and villainous. He _know_ s but he isn’t telling—

“Joe—” Nile tried to call him. But Joe’s grip on the phone merely tightened.

“Where is he?! Where is he?!” He yelled. He couldn’t hear anything beside the voice of his lover—hurt and pleading. He couldn’t see anything beside the image of Nicky bleeding and lost—his body slowly submerging in the ocean.

_Oh gods…_

“Please—” Joe couldn’t even feel the tears flowing down his cheeks, couldn’t feel anything beside the emptiness in his chest. He should’ve been here. Nicky should’ve been here, reading a book, _safe_ like he always did after each mission. That’s why Joe doesn’t ever worry too much about his lover, because he knew that Nicky wasn’t really putting himself in a danger greater than his. Joe was the one who went to the front with Andy and Nile. He was the one who was fighting with the enemy—Nicky should’ve been safe, at a distance but still safer than him.

So why is _he_ the one here?

“Please—” Joe begged, _just tell me you’re lying._ He wanted to say. Can’t Copley just get on with it? With his evil plan? With his villainous scheme—he’s merely hiding Nicky, like a game of chase, that’s better right—better knowing that _someone_ knows where Nicky is rather than this. Rather than being lost.

_We’ve already lost Quynh to the sea. Why is it taking Nicky as well?_

Nile gently grabbed the phone from him and handed it to Andy. She then helped Joe to the nearest sofa, easing him to it. Joe had gone almost irresponsive, he was crying and sobbing to her shoulder, kept on asking where Nicky was.

Nile wished she knew. She wished they all knew. She saw Andy ended the call and sat opposite them. They exchanged sorrowful glances before Andy sat on Joe’s other side. They both embraced him.

“I’m sorry,” Andy said, sincerity and regret in her voice. She had lost another. In her long life, she has lost another of her own. First it was Quynh—and now it was Nicky.

Joe sobbed in his hands. “Please—” he murmured.

“We’ll go back,” Nile said, giving Joe a squeeze. “We’ll go back and look for him.”

Andy nodded, but in her eyes, there was already defeat. Copley had done immediately what he could as soon as he lost signal of Nicky. He was monitoring their activities through a poor camera feed on the nearby abandoned building in front of the shipment area. As soon as he saw the grenade blew up on where he knew Nicky was holed in, he tried to contact him and trace him. When he saw the van leave, he didn’t stop on monitoring the activities on the field, on the nearby waters. He was praying, honest-to-God praying to anyone listening that he could see Nicky’s figure slowly creeping up from the water (even though he knew that it was unlikely, he wasn’t able to see any figure jumped from the blast). He had told all of it to Andy, knowing that she will be the most rational about it (she was _the_ leader for a reason). He didn’t want to be the one to deliver the news to Joe.

He was much of a coward to do that.

They went back. They couldn’t stop Joe even if they wanted to.

They went to the shipment area—searched through every corner, even to the depth of the water. They searched within the surrounding areas, anywhere that Nicky might have been waved off. They even as so much as went after the whole operation of the enemy.

Joe slaughtered anyone who went against him. His mourning turned into bloodthirst as he eyed them with nothing but malice. He was drowning in their blood. Yet it still wasn’t enough to alleviate the emptiness within him.

He had lost the other half of his soul.

It felt too much like dying.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I need a bit of your support. Lately my laptop is refusing to cooperate and kept on crashing! ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ I couldn't even write shit in it without crashing every other hour, T_T
> 
> I desperately need this device to work on my thesis (and other creative works, 😉😏ya'll know what this means uwu).
> 
> But I'm lacking a bit on my funds to purchase a new one (╥_╥) (**lowkey contemplating selling my kidneys or blood or teeth or whatever shit that sells)
> 
> Any amount will immensely help. Please. (;´Д`)
> 
> Many thanks!!! (´∀｀)♡
> 
> Here is my ko-fi account: https://ko-fi.com/naxxerie
> 
> Here is my paypal address: aureadono@gmail.com
> 
> PS. If you're in my homeland, Philippines, kindly consider giving my online bookshop a visit 🙂 shopee.ph/bookmarked_store
> 
> PS. In turn, I will write a one shot with ANY prompt requested. Be it smut, fluff, angst, etc. Please. I really need help 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡


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